We had a different episode planned for this week, but in light of the fight that is going down in the Senate right now, we needed to re-release this episode on the filibuster, with a special introduction as to why we should all care about the Freedom to Vote Act and The John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act, and encourage you to call your Senators to act on the filibuster.*

* If you’re part of the Trump-backed forces of authoritarianism, you probably don’t care. But if you truly want America to be a democracy in its current state (and if you love parts of the Constitution, you should probably be all about this too) - you should be really loudly vocally supporting both bills.

The problem with bills like these though is that, much like a theory like CRT, people make judgments about what they THINK are in those bills rather than actually sitting down and reading them. And, as a great email from Heather Cox Richardson pointed out, “It’s worth reading what’s actually in the bills because, to my mind, it is bananas that they are in any way controversial.” We break this down, and then tell you all about the filibuster, so that you’re empowered to use your voice to protect democracy.

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If you’ve been on LinkedIn recently, it’s likely that someone you know has liked something that our next guest has written - because her posts are just THAT GOOD. But it wasn’t just her LinkedIn activism that made us want to sit down with her today - it was some impactful articles that she wrote, including one for Cosmopolitan in 2019 and one for the Harvard Business Review in 2021, that made us excited to talk about something that we haven’t really touched on, on the podcast to date: colorism.

If you’re sitting there asking yourself, what is colorism, or what does that have to do with race, systemic racism, and how we look at people - then marketing and advertising, as we’ve known it to always exist in the United States, has largely been doing its job. But that doesn’t mean it’s the right job - in fact, today, we’re going to talk all about why it’s so important to understand colorism as a fundamental piece of our systems that affect us all (like racism), and also the very personal impact that it can have on people. We’re here to learn in 2022, and to keep asking those questions that make us think deeper and challenge what we’ve always been told.

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Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu! Or, in English, Happy New Year!

We kick off this first episode of 2022 by reintroducing ourselves, so you know who we are and where we’re coming from as you listen to all the episodes to come (because you’re following our show on your favorite podcast app, right?). But we also did that so we can begin engaging a skill that is urgent to focus on this year - namely, critical thinking.

In today’s episode, we dive into the booming economic statistics from the US and how that stands in stark contrast to the majority of Americans who disapprove of the state of the economy, and how our news sources may be playing an outsized role in our perception of reality. There are psychological trends we want to steel ourselves against, because this applies to the Big Lie, or the January 6th insurrection, or COVID vaccines, or racism, or basically any topic that you’ve read about or heard about or discussed that’s been in the news lately.

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Well, we made it to the end of 2021. As we think back on this year, we’re sharing not only a little bit about the podcast and Dear White Women platform (along with our favorite episodes and guests), but also looking back at some key events of 2021, and what we did for self-care and community. Our hope for you is to listen, reflect, and think about what you’re going to do to make change going into 2022.

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We’re finally done with 2021… but if 2020-2021 taught us anything, it’s that this period of time we are living through will be examined in the history books. Our grandkids will be asking us what life was like during the global pandemic, where we were during the January 6 insurrection, and what we did to stand up against the racial and social injustices that were made so painfully clear during this time.

So, as we re-cast this first episode of the year with you as a recap, consider what YOU did this year to make change - and what side of history you ended up finding yourself on. Then, think about how you want to show up in 2022!

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One thing that we’ve found to be true, from discussions around the book, to how to have uncomfortable conversations around the dinner or holiday tables, to sharing the stories that we are so lucky to be able to get to do on this podcast - it all comes back to how this work, the hard work of inclusion, anti-racism, and how to make lasting change, has to start first from within. We have to see each other as humans first, and find those commonalities so that we can then address our differences. Cancel culture isn’t working out. We need bridges in order to be able to see that new world.

This skill of looking within - it’s something that we talk about so much with our kids and their learning but something that we, as adults, largely brush to the side as one of those nebulous “nice to haves”. But that’s where we go wrong. We need empathy now more than ever, and today’s guest, Syah, is here to show us how to approach conversations - and indeed, all the spheres of influence that we each hold - with that empathy that we need to make intentional, lasting change. There were light bulb moments for both of us throughout this podcast, and we’d love to hear if any came up for you all as well.

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One of the questions that often has come up around our recent publication of our book (leave us a review on Amazon!) is what it was like to write the book during the end of 2020. And one of the things that always sticks out to us is that the problems, the racism, the treatment of non White people in this country that we wrote about in great detail throughout the book, didn’t get fixed in 2020, or 2021. In fact, every single chapter that we wrote in the second and third sections of the book has reoccurred numerous times over since we wrote the book. We’re not in some post racial world here. We didn’t fix racism because people suddenly realized that it was still happening sometime in the summer of 2020.

And our next guest knows that all too well. Tamara Winfrey-Harris wrote The Sisters Are Alright in 2015, and just released a second edition to this book this year. Not because racism is over, or we figured out intersectional feminism, or that we’re even all on the same page - not at all. The second edition includes so much more information about the stereotypes and experiences of Black women in America, what we need to know when it comes to intersectional feminism, interracial friendships, and simply co-existing with and respecting everyone. In the end, the sisters are alright. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t have a ton of work to do - so start by listening in and reflecting on your own perceptions, experiences, and things YOU can do differently.

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Our next guest is not only the author of a book we both can’t wait to read - Decolonizing Wellness - but also talks specifically to those individuals who are at the intersection of BIPOC and LGBTQ identities. When you think about bodies, beauty, and self-care, that’s often a group that gets lost, not only in popular consciousness but also in media portrayals of what is considered desirable or attractive. And, when you’re struggling to be seen, or fit in, or even survive - this can be devastating.

This was yet again one of those conversations that we didn’t want to end, and each of us walked away with different ways to think about not only our own bodies, but what we put in them, how we interact with those around us with regard to wellness - especially kids, and ways in which we can better support and understand the struggle of marginalized individuals when it comes to preconceived notions of health and beauty.

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We’ve been asked a lot about how to have uncomfortable conversations lately - namely, the reality that, yikes, my people are coming over for the holidays and how on earth do I handle it when those uncomfortable, racist, inappropriate comments and jokes come up? (Because let’s be real - they’re coming up.)

While there is no official checklist for success, we DO have quite a number of tips to help guide you and your group into more meaningful, engaging conversations around your holiday table.

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When we sat down to talk with our next two guests, we were already big fans. They had presented as part of the Embodied Social Justice certificate course that we had taken together this summer, and their theme was clear: how we end racism. In one generation.

So, if your immediate reaction is one of incredulity, then maybe you need to hear this episode more than you think. Because their method is not one of hammering hard facts into people’s heads - it’s an approach based primarily on love, compassion, and our shared humanity. We talk in-depth about the conversations that can bring seemingly opposite people together, even when issues of politics and race would normally divide them. (And - if you’re looking for more tips on how to HAVE those uncomfortable conversations that may be happening in the next couple of weeks around your own holiday tables, we’ve got those details in depth next week!). At the end of our chat, we realized that this was the conversation we all, collectively, need to have, if we’re really serious about moving the needle when it comes to racism.

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We first heard about our guest today when we were all participating in the Edelweiss Book Fest as Editors’ Picks and couldn’t get her, or her book, out of our heads. While “abolition” has been a word largely associated with slavery, it has taken on a new meaning when it comes to the police in America. Yes, we know - this word is scary. Police reform can seem daunting. But Derecka Purnell not only understands that, but she has a framework for how we need to be thinking about this process, and what new structures can be built in its place.

Listen in to hear more about becoming abolitionists, the lack of history of White resistance, Derecka’s own personal thought journey, and so much more. We really enjoyed this conversation - and learned so much - and hope you do too.

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If you’re listening to this episode on the day it’s released, this is Election Day in the United States. So, if you haven’t gone to vote yet, and you’re not in a mail-in ballot state, go do that and come back and listen - or, if you’re not sure if you’re going to vote, you may want to listen right now and make time to get out and cast your ballot.

Because this Election Day is really important, especially if you’re in states like Virginia.

Why? Well, according to Heather Cox Richardson: “We are in an existential fight to defend our democracy from those who would destroy it. People seem to hark back to films from the 1930s and 1940s and think that so long as we don’t have tanks in our streets, our government is secure. But in this era, democracies die more often through the ballot box than at gunpoint.”

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