Today’s episode seems to be addressing this question: does politics show up in our everyday lives? Maybe even in our most intimate relationships? 

And while a lot of folks may be saying politics doesn’t impact me, I don’t do politics… we think the actual answer for most of us in this country is a resounding YES (in fact, we’ve recorded whole episodes and written whole book chapters on this very topic!).  Yes, politics impacts our daily lives, including being in our marriages, our parent-child relationships, and more.

We’re privileged to have this conversation with someone who took the chance to use her voice in a new way - moving from academia and diving bravely into personal essays - in order to help us all hear one person’s journey confronting the Model Minority Myth that so many Asian folks in America are impacted by, and inspiring us along the way.

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There are SO many insightful conversations and incredible stories we’ve shared on this show, and this one was yet another example of one where we went in thinking one thing, and came out thinking another.  

Because we’ll be talking with an incredible advocate about ableism and disabilities - a label that, if we aren’t already impacted by it, is a label that - statistically speaking - we may all one day live long enough to be impacted by. We all want to be paying attention.

And maybe, just maybe, if you learn through this episode that the way you thought about ability and disability is different than what you previously assumed, maybe, just maybe, you’ll also be open to learning more about race and racism, age and ageism, sex and sexism, anti LGBTQIA+ sentiment, and more.  All of these systems of oppression are linked. And we’re so glad that we were able to be in community with someone that we personally know is such a powerful woman in this space for this discussion.

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We’ve had a lot of focus on this show leading into Election 2024 about the state of the country and the deep divides that we’re seeing in society.  We’re grateful to and for everyone who worked to ensure that democracy worked in early November. AND, given the election results, we know that these divides still exist and have the ability to grow even deeper. 

What can we do about that? One step that we can take right now is to examine how we talk to each other, to better connect. So today, we focus on the good stuff - building community, nurturing friendships, and coming together with a lot of meaning and joy.

And given who we are, of course, we don’t just do it alone - we do it in partnership with a leading psychologist who specializes in developing friendships, showcased in her NYT bestselling book Platonic, and who - alongside us in our multi-racial identities, also has personal experience driving her desire to help more of us understand how to belong, and find those connections in the world.

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You know how we both feel about the phrase “oh, stop being so political” for the simple reason that politics IS personal.  

Political choices impact most things you do on the daily, and often involve the things you care about the most for your community.

That’s why, today, we wanted to speak to someone who may not look like who you think of when you think “politician” - or at least, not until VP Harris stepped even further into the spotlight.  

We hope you hear what it takes to be a woman of color running for office, the importance of representation, and why it’s important that every single one of us vote in this upcoming election.

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This episode is for all of you who may think: “My vote doesn’t matter.” “I don’t vote.” “I would get involved but I don’t know how or where to volunteer.” “I don’t have any special election-related skills.” Or anything along those lines. You may have even said this out loud, or you may have heard friends or family say this. Either way, this is for you. 

We said in our email this week that we were getting ready to dive into Election 2024 - because “I’m not political” or “I don’t talk about politics” is NOT going to cut it; these days, politics is invading our libraries, schools, wallets and bodies and those of our children as well.  

So we bring you an incredible activist and supporter of activists, who will leave you with not only the best approach to engage people in your life who say they don’t do politics but also a bunch of organizations you can get involved with between now and November that we think will make a huge difference to the trajectory of our nation. 

PS, if you aren’t yet on our email list, what are you thinking!?  Get on it!  Register at

www.dearwhitewomen.com

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What comes to your mind when you picture someone who’s resilient?  Usually, we hear that it’s one person who’s faced a setback, and they remain hopeful and willing to work through the challenges to return to some sort of life they had before. Maybe you’ve heard the phrase “pick themselves up by their bootstraps” to describe this type of person. We know we have. But that doesn’t always work, as we continually say. 

We have a guest today who’s going to help us critically examine that image we have - and help us understand what we’re missing.  She’ll tell us we need to think critically about when it comes to glorifying resilience, especially if we’re doing it for individual gain or to showcase individual strength, without realizing that the opposite of resilience is loneliness – we have to remember the communal and community contribution to the ability to be resilient.

We’re at a time in history where it feels - no matter your perspective - like the world is burning down around us. We want to trust that we will still be standing. To do it, we need to know when to be optimistic and when to be strategically pessimistic, not beat ourselves up when we’re coming up against moral injury, embrace certain ways of thinking - cognitive flexibility, for those who want the big words - and hold onto hope for the collective, above all.

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Most of us say we’d speak up and do the right thing - that we’d not conform to horrible societal standards.  We hear that, for example, when people speak about what happened during World War II in Europe. Would you have been part of the Resistance, knowing that the risk included not only social shunning but indeed death? But we also hear that so many of you have a hard time speaking up when it comes to interrupting moments of racism, sexism, misogyny, ageism, homophobia - I mean, it can be really intimidating to use your voice.  Like, you *want* to do the right thing, but feel like you don’t have all the information, don’t know what to say, what the repercussions might be, for example.

We’re here to say that if there ever was a time for us to use our voice - from interrupting with people who want to take away other people’s rights, to promoting equity, looking out for ourselves by getting what we need from relationships and communities, and using our right to vote in the voting booths this fall (because yes, a vote can be your voice as well) - now is the time. We’re so grateful we get to bring you a meaningful and practical conversation that can help you reframe your understanding of why we become silent - and how to unlearn all of that intentionally, so we can start using our powerful voices again.

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So we’ve spoken inspirationally and aspirationally about wellbeing, the power of the pause, about spirituality.

But what if my brain is still going, but I can’t wrap my head around this all – I need some more structure, some more tools, some more intellectual perspective!?

We’ve got a book for you! 

And if you’ve been a longtime listener to the podcast, you know that we very rarely do repeat guests, unless we (a) love them and (b) feel like they’ve got another message to bring to our community. 

Dr. Sue Varma fits the bill for both, and so much more. We’re bringing her back to talk about her new book, Practical Optimism, with excellent frameworks around well-being, how to survive this rollercoaster of a year, and so much more.

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In the five-plus years of the podcast, I’d say that we have spent a LOT of time on various “hot button” issues - I mean, we live quite squarely in the ones that surround race and identity, wouldn’t you say? - but one of the facets of identity that we don’t often explore is that of religion. Not because we don’t want to talk about it, but a lot of times the opportunity doesn’t really present itself.

That’s why we were so excited to talk to one of the authors of Healing Our Way Home, a new book that addresses white supremacy and identity through the lens of Black Buddhist teachings. 

What started out as a series of conversations between three practitioners morphed into a whole book, focusing on self-care and Buddhist teachings with the goal of collective liberation in mind, but in a way that’s totally different from what we’ve seen out there thus far. 

Can’t wait for you all to listen and learn more.

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This one goes out to all the busy women in our community. 

Whether you’re a Type-A, a Recovering Type-A, a paid working mom or a working mom in the home - we hear it over and over again: we women are feeling stretched super thin, exhausted, and overwhelmed.

Enter a radical mindset shift: the power of rest.

We’re excited to bring you a conversation with Kibi Anderson, who drops brilliant reframing of what we think of as rest (it’s not always what we’ve been led to believe) and other life advice that helped us breathe a little better. 

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I don’t know that there’s a better book and conversation to kick off our summer author series with than this one.

We’ve said for a while now that there’s a benefit to applying a psychological, human-based lens to the social justice learning we’ve been sharing on this show for the last five years.  

This conversation shows us why we are spending our summer talking about that bridge, which over the course of the next few months will center discussions about well-being, about the power of the pause, practical optimism, meditation, and more. 

Because in the midst of such a turbulent, divided time, don’t you want to feel better? 

With social psychologist Dolly Chugh, we’ll get into some beautiful stories that let us all remember there are times we prioritize comfort over discomfort – but that not knowing facts creates its own sense of discomfort too. Why not join us in the learning and unlearning?

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